{"id":17065,"date":"2018-02-22T07:18:04","date_gmt":"2018-02-22T00:18:04","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/kembalirehab.com\/?p=17065"},"modified":"2025-03-24T12:40:09","modified_gmt":"2025-03-24T12:40:09","slug":"sex-and-love-addiction-an-intimacy-disorder-thats-not-so-black-and-white","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/amatesting.uk\/kembali\/sex-and-love-addiction-an-intimacy-disorder-thats-not-so-black-and-white\/","title":{"rendered":"Sex and Love Addiction: An Intimacy Disorder that\u2019s not so Black and White"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Wouldn\u2019t it be nice if everything in life was black and white? You know, no grey areas, no question marks, only \u201cyes\u201d or \u201cno\u201d answers to every single burning question\u2026 ever? But, alas, we don\u2019t live in a black-and-white world. While this keeps life interesting, spontaneous, and packed with mystery, it can also cause some serious distress, particularly when it comes to matters of sobriety. In any form.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For those of us who are drug addicts or alcoholics (or both), the solution to maintaining our sobriety is, of course, pretty black and white: don\u2019t drink alcohol and don\u2019t use drugs. Simple. At least it\u2019s simple in theory, and while it may be physically, mentally, and emotionally challenging to tackle, the means by which we achieve and maintain our sobriety is straightforward. But what about other addictions? Specifically, what about Sex and Love Addiction, which is generally understood to be an intimacy disorder?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/span>Understanding Sex and Love Addiction as an Intimacy Disorder<\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

While Sex and Love Addiction is not a formally recognized addiction, it still has its place on the list. Support groups like SLAA<\/a> (Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous) are growing steadily, and we\u2019re beginning to see more and more people seeking treatment for it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Unfortunately, the term \u201csex addict\u201d or \u201clove addict\u201d sometimes gets a bad rap due to celebrity sex scandals in the media or cheating spouses whose husbands or wives are quick to blame sex addiction for their partner\u2019s infidelity. Those who don\u2019t have a basic understanding of how the addicted mind operates might turn their nose up at the idea of Sex and Love Addiction. For the sex and love addict, however, it\u2019s a lot more serious than it might seem on the surface. It can stem from deep-rooted insecurities that range from fear of abandonment to fear of commitment to fear of intimacy, and these insecurities generally result from childhood trauma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/span>The Connection Between Addiction and Attachment<\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

To help illustrate how the addicted mind operates, let\u2019s take a look at how the majority of us begin our lives on planet earth. When babies are born, held, and breastfed, a bond is formed between infant and mother. That bond is reinforced by a chemical reaction caused by oxytocin, endorphins, and dopamine<\/a> flooding the brain, which then triggers the brain\u2019s reward center. When a heroin addict takes a hit of heroin, that same reward center gets triggered. Similarly, when we have sex, feel close to a lover, or get excited about seeing them, our mood elevates and also causes the same chemical reaction.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Unlike the heroin addict, however, most of us, while we enjoy it, don\u2019t get physically addicted to the chemical reaction that comes from sex or closeness to another human being. Those who\u2019ve experienced childhood trauma, on the other hand\u2014such as early separation from a parent, physical (including sexual) or emotional abuse\u2014may develop an unhealthy attachment to this type of physical connection. These individuals may become disproportionately restless, irritable, or discontent when they don\u2019t receive or experience sex or what they perceive as love. This can lead to a craving that looks very similar to any other substance addiction, leading to a form of addiction known as Sex and Love Addiction.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/span>Characteristics of Sex and Love Addiction<\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Sex and love addicts tend to seek out relationships or engage in sexual activities that are beyond the scope of what might be considered healthy for a non-addicted individual, resulting in a very painful cycle of behaviors and relationship patterns. Once again, Sex and Love Addiction is not a formally recognized disease, and there\u2019s a lot of controversy surrounding the subject. It doesn\u2019t change the fact, however, that there are many people out there who struggle severely in their relationships because they can\u2019t control their behavior or their emotional responses in matters of sex and the heart.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The trickiest part about Sex and Love Addiction is that, unlike drug and alcohol addiction, it means something different to each individual who deals with it. The desire for sex and love is part of the human condition, and asking anyone to give these things up is pretty unrealistic. We need and crave human connection, so finding our way through in order to have healthy relationships and achieve a level of intimacy with others is the primary challenge for the sex and love addict.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/span>Common Signs of Sex and Love Addiction<\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n

If you think you might fall on the sex and love addicted spectrum, it can be helpful to examine some of these traits to see if you identify. These are pulled from SLAA\u2019s list of sex and love<\/a> addict characteristics:<\/p>\n\n\n\n